I owe myself...

The plan was to get up this morning and go for a 5 mile run. I had it mapped out. I was nervous, but I was ready.


And then Husband returned from the gym and informed me that it was 37 degrees outside. I know that it might seem warm to some of you, but for this born and raised So Cal girl, 37 is really cold. I mean, the last time that it was 37 degrees at 730 in the morning, I was probably on vacation. In the mountains.


So, I gave myself an excuse a reason not to run this morning. I could have just laid in bed under my nice warm covers and cuddled with the kiddos.


But I did not. I ran to my iPod, looked up the closest group X class, and off I went. 


And then on the way home, I had this urge to stop and do a 5K around a local lake. But I did not. Again, making excuses finding reasons for why that was just not a good idea (I had already been gone for over an hour, and Husband was home alone with all of the kids, my iPod was at home on my nightstand, it was still really cold outside). I'm really good at "finding reasons".


So here I am, a couple of hours later, wishing that I would have run my 5 miles this morning, because who knows when I'll get the time to do it again. And even though I still got a good workout in at class this morning, my heart was kind of set on 5 miles.


So, I owe myself a 5 mile run.


And if you haven't done so yet, go check out the Sisterhood. And join the Power of  One Challenge. You know I'm not a big challenge girl, but something has got to give at this point.

Yuck

I feel so gross.


Somehow, I have managed to gain 4 pounds since Christmas Eve. That's only 5 days!!! And I have gained 4 pounds. I mean, come on. How is it possible to gain that much weight in that many days? 


The crazy thing is I actually feel it. I feel so stinking bloated it's not even funny. And I feel disappointed, and discouraged, and gross.


Gross.

How was your holiday?

Merry Christmas!

Santa came a night early at our house, as I'll be working on Christmas day. Hope you all have the merriest of Christmases and I'll see you all next week.


Joy to the World!!!

Yes.

Today was a yes day.


A let's stay in our pajamas because it hasn't stopped raining in 4 days and we live in Southern California, so what the heck is going on, yes day.


Yes, you may color.


Yes, you may watch movies today.


Yes, you may have macaroni and cheese for lunch.


Yes, we can bake cookies after nap time.


Yes, you can sit on the play table, if that is where you are comfortable.


There are too many no days. So today it was yes.


And then tomorrow, we'll see.


And if you haven't read this, you might want to. Just because.

The eyes of a child

On a side note, I did my first spin class this morning, and I don't know how much longer I will be ambulatory. Wow.


Now to the story.
I took my brood to the grocery store yesterday. Both boys were in the cart (my store has double wides. love.), and the *almost* four year old was walking next to me.

We turned down an aisle, and coming in the opposite direction was a very large lady. She was so large she was using the cart as support as she walked.


Because four year olds do not have filters, the following happened.


Four year old : "Mommy, she's a real fat mommy. Not like you, you're a regular mommy. She's a fat mommy."


Me (out loud) : " Four year old, we do not talk about people that way. God makes people in all different shapes and sizes, and it is not kind to call people fat. We always like to use kind words when we talk about people. Do you understand?"


Four year old : "Yes, mommy. I'm sorry."


Me (inside my head) : "I'm totally not the fat mommy! I'm a regular mommy!"


I know. Totally inappropriate to rejoice at that time, but to be honest, after being mortified that she said what she did OUT LOUD, my next thought was all about me.


Because one of the things that I've wanted since we started having kids was to not be the fat mom. I didn't want my kids to be embarrassed of me because of my weight. I know that kids are embarrassed enough of their parents without having that thrown in to the mix.


So I'm proud to be setting an example to them. That even if I'm not the skinny mommy, that I'm doing the right thing. I exercise. I try to make good food choices. And they are watching. And noticing.


And I'm not the fat mommy!!!

Monday Motivation

My Christmas List

Because it's almost Christmas, I thought I would share a couple of things on my list this year. Husband and I won't really be exchanging gifts, because we've both recently received some high ticket items that we've been coveting. But it's nice to dream...


The first thing on my list is some serious motivation. Not something that can be given, I know, but I'm having a serious issue right now. We've talked about how this is my comfort zone. I need a serious slap in the face to get out. So, slaps welcome here. (by the way, don't do a search for motivational pics... some of them border on pornography. Thus I bring you an image free post.. again.)


Now, the fun stuff.


Bondi bands - I have some kind of funky, curly, frizzy situation going on with my hair that is only exacerbated by sweat. The headbands that I currently use do not stay in while running, nor do they effectively hold hair in place for a long period of time. I've heard amazing thing about Bondi bands, so while I have never tried them myself, anything is an improvement on what I currently use.


Road ID - After running my 10K, I have this weird urge to start running longer distances. ( Who is the person that is writing this? ) I would feel more comfortable with something stating who I am, just in case something were to happen. What can I say, I work in an ER. I see bad things happen every day.


Some kind of armband for my iPod - Right now, I hold my iPod in my hand. Convenient to push the button if I want to hear how long I've been running, or what it thinks my pace is, but inconvenient in every other way. And it gets all gross and sweaty. Yuck.


New running shoes - I really need to go the local running store and get properly fitted for running shoes. I never did this the first time, because I didn't have enough faith in myself to really believe that I would do this and stick to it. But now that I kind of like running, I should probably do the right thing. Don't you think?


iTunes gift card - after my recent song shopping extravaganza, I realized how inspiring a new playlist can be. Maybe I should do that more often.


What's on your Christmas list this year?

Playlist

I finally got my playlist for going under 200 pounds. I still have enough money to download 1 or 2 more songs, so if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.


Yes, I know that there is profanity. I listen to the songs for the music, not the lyrics. And I've heard all of the words before anyway.


I also realize that I have a whole bunch of different random stuff. Don't judge because of the boy bands.


Here it is!

I'm not a big planner

I am not a big planner.

Procrastinator, yes. Planner, no.

I am really good at waiting until the last minute to do things. Like buy christmas presents, and wrap them, and ship them.
And sign up for 10K's.

That is right. On Saturday afternoon, while the kids were napping, I drove myself to the (kind of) local RoadRunner sports and signed myself up for a 10K.

It was Sunday morning.

I had not trained. In fact, the last time I had even gone for any kind of run was about two weeks prior. But something told me to just do it.

To do the thing that I thought I could not do.

I signed up solo for this race, my first one without Husband by my side, and I was really anxious about it.

But I woke up early, got ready, and started out all by lonesome. I think I stopped at the restroom about ten times before the race started, just to make sure I was good.

Once I got there, I found my place at the back of the pack and waited for the race to start! I felt much more out of place at the start of a 10K than I did at the 5K's I've done.

I started out with my new play list rockin in my ears, and set a pace that I probably could have maintained for all 6 miles.

But somewhere around mile 3 I started walking, for no real good reason, and I'm still kicking myself for it.
Because after that, it was run, walk, repeat. Bummer.

At about mile 5 (maybe?) I saw Husband and all three kids!! He had gotten them all up and ready and they had come to cheer me on! It was so amazing!

Mallory and Donovan joined me for a little bit, but they turned around and went back to Husband after about a tenth of a mile. That was my favorite tenth of a mile, by far. And something I hope never to forget.

At the mile 6 marker, I felt like I was done and that I couldn't go any further. And that's when Darra came back for me. I had just met her 4 days prior at a SET class I took at the gym, and yet she came back to run the last part with me. How amazing is that? I know I wouldn't have kept running if it hadn't been for her.

Before I started, I set two goals for myself. To finish under 90 minutes, and to not be last.

Well, I did it. My time was 1:27. And I was not last. I may have been slow, but I was not last.

I decided next time I'm running with Adrienne, because she totally rocked her first one this weekend too.

But I did it. I ran a 10K.

And here I am with two of the kiddos at the finish line.

Monday Motivation

14

Size 14.
Jeans.
From a non-plus-size-store.
To some of you that's not such a big deal. To me, it is.
Because even when I was my lightest, on my wedding day, my bottoms were size 14.
I could do dresses that were 12's, and even 10's. But the bottom? Always 14.
What can I say? I have major junk in the trunk.
I know that I have a lot more to lose.
But right now, I'm relishing in my new size 14 jeans.

Spaghetti Squash Casserole

I have never tried to cook with spaghetti squash before, but I was inspired by Colleen over at Bee Fit, and decided to give it a try. I messed with her recipe a little bit, and it turned out delicious.

I would actually recommend making it the night before, and eating it as leftovers, because it was actually better the next day.

I added up the points (using recipe builder on etools), and it turned out to be 7 PointsPlus, if you divided the 9 x 13 pan in to 6 servings. It could probably be less if you used less meat, or crushed tomatoes instead of the sauce. Or if you were able to find (and willing to use) fat free cheese.


Here is what I did. Enjoy!!
(and did I mention that the kids ate it too?)

Have you ever cooked with spaghetti squash? What did you think?

For the Record...

For the Record, cookie dough totally counts. Bummer.


And the second thing is, we went to Husbands holiday party on Saturday night, and I actually felt pretty. As in, look in the mirror and actually like the reflection, pretty. I found an AMAZING pair of pumps (on super sale) that I can totally wear again with jeans and a cute sweater. And I kind of stole a flower from somebody's hair at my daughters Christmas concert earlier that day, which I totally rocked.

The picture doesn't do my memories any justice, so I'll just go by what I remember.


Aren't we handsome?


Do you have any holiday parties in the works?

Monday Motivation

Um...

Does cookie dough count?

Cause if it does, I am in BIG TROUBLE.

Saving Grace

I mentioned on Sunday that my saving grace over Thanksgiving week was my run on Thursday morning. Let me tell you about it, cause I know you care.


We have a lake by our house that has a trail around it that is 1.1 miles. Super convenient to know the distance and not have to figure it out using mapmyrun or some other craziness.


I left the house with the intention of running it at least three times. To complete a 5K, since the Turkey Trot in South County was not an option for me this year (it was at 9am. crazy. most runs are earlier). I decided that I was going to beat my previous 5K time, even if I had to run until I threw up.


So I got there and it was like 10 thousand degrees below normal here in sunny So Cal. And this spoiled little girl was totally not used to it. So I was trying to talk myself in to maybe only 2 laps, because it was so. stinking. cold.


I started running, and before I knew it, I had finished the first lap. I had walked a little bit in the beginning to warm up, but I had finished a whole 1.1 miles, without even noticing!! I continued to run for a while longer until all of a sudden, I was walking. I really don't know how it happened, but I was walking. As soon as my brain decided to catch up with my body, I started running again. 


Another lap down. And then this crazy thing happened, and I just kept going. I would take a couple of short walk breaks here and there (because my heart rate monitor told me that my heart rate was above 200, and really, that's just too fast), but for the most part, I ran as much as I could.


The next thing I knew, I looked down at my iPod, and it said 4.4 miles!! I went around four times in 56 minutes!! I knew in my head that it was totally a record for me.


I could have stopped there, but I wasn't ready yet. I was kidless, and alone, with only my music to listen to, and it was A.MA.ZING. I turned the iPod to some worship music and walked one more lap. I spent time with Jesus and thanked Him, and praised Him, and lifted my voice in worship (in my head at least).


It was the perfect end to a milestone run. 5.5 miles. Maybe I didn't run all of it. Maybe I could have pushed myself further. All I know is that it felt so good. And I am totally proud.