Slacker

I am a slacker.
Total slacker.
On most days you can find me getting out of bed at the very last minute to hurry my kids off to preschool, only to come home and do... nothing. Or to stroll the malls looking at all of the things that I wish I could have.
I have a list a million miles long that needs to get done.
But I have zero focus, and even less motivation.
My husband has been wonderful, and picks up the slack where I've been lacking. (Which is, um, everywhere)
But needless to say, I eat what I want, and have often turned to baking as a coping mechanism.
Baking things with a pound of butter.
I'd like to say that I'm trying to focus my life on something outside of myself right now.
But I can't.
Thus starting the downward spiral of decreasing motivation and lack of coping skills that currently define my life.
I can only pray that it will all be over in about 6 weeks, when baby number four finally decides to show up.
And then I'm back on the bandwagon.
But with bigger and better things planned.

Me. At a Water Park.

We have a water park by our house that has been around since I was a teenager.
I used to avoid it in high school because it meant that I had to walk around in a bathing suit with all of my less chubby friends.
I'd gone a couple of times, but not quite as much as my Husband.
He had a season pass almost every year, so he has great childhood memories of summer days at the park.
I kind of just assumed that our kids would grow up spending their days there as well.
Until the word came that it was closing due to an endlessly increasing land lease.
So we scored some passes (for free) for one last trip to the water park.
We took the big kids (who are 3 and 4), and left littlest man at home.
And I spent the whole day in my bathing suit.
As in walking around, uncovered, in my bathing suit.

And I was a little bit uncomfortable.
But for the most part, proud of myself for who I am now.
Because although I know that it was not a pretty sight, I didn't really care as much.
I was there to let my kids make a memory.
And that meant way more to me than worrying about how I looked at the water park.

Where am I?

I haven't been writing because I haven't had much exciting stuff going on around here.
I am exhausted, all the time.


I am eating poorly.
I am being lazy not working out, at all.
And I'm pretty much always in a foul mood.
Probably because of the above.


Kid #2 is potty training.
And while days 1-5 went well, day 8? Not so much. 12pm.
Fourth pair of chonies.
Switching to diapers to maintain my sanity, and an uninjured child.
Because the whole exhaustion thing?
Leaves mommy grumpy, and impatient.


And the truly sucky thing?
I totally know that my attitude sucks, and that I could make a choice to deal with things better right now.
And yet every single day I make a different choice.


I totally know that eating better, and working out, and even choosing to be happy would change my life right now.
But I'm not doing it.
So that's where I am.


How are you doing?

Monday Motivation

Today's post brings a different kind of motivation, not in the form of a quote that resonates for some, but in words that I would hope bring truth to all.
That I think all of us can relate to.
That struck a chord with me.

This post was awesome. Go read it, and be proud of who you are and where you are right now.
Because we are all different. And we are all beautiful.
18 weeks pregnant and 5 pounds heavier and everything.

You're Beautiful

Just a little reminder that you're beautiful.
In the words of Mercy Me.

Gone are the Days

Gone are the days of being too nauseated to eat anything.
Which is good.
But also very, very, bad.
You see, now I have a paranoia about gaining too much weight and having to lose it all (plus the 50 pounds I didn't lose to begin with).
And this?

Although completely delicious and worth every bite (and maybe even the ranch that it got dipped in), totally not helping the situation.

Lucky for me, I've found an alternative for Diet Coke.
Not a replacement, as you better believe I haven't given up the evil.
But a suitable alternative, at least.

A little bit of this, maybe even add a little bit of lemonade...
And I forget about my beloved Diet Coke for a glass.
Or two.

Monday Motivation