Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Insta - break

I love me some instagram. You with me?
And I love how some people have formed some truly amazing friendships over a little square box inside of their phone.
But that person is not me. Because I hover. And stalk. In a not really creepy way, I hope.

I've recently been on this crazy kick where I'm really trying to find out who I am and what works for me. And that is really hard to do in these days of instagram.
Because I look at everybody else's instas of their kids frolicking in open fields, and eating ice cream, and baking cupcakes together. And then I try to compare their highlights to my reality, and guess what, I don't measure up.

I watch people transform themselves all happy and yoga-ish and running hundreds of miles all speedy and looking like they just walked out of a salon. And then I get home from the gym and look in the mirror, and dude, you can totally tell that I just got worked at the gym.

I look at all of the amazing friendships that people have formed, and how they have meet ups and get togethers and outings, and I get sad. Because even if I formed friendships like those, I just don't have the time to be so social right now.

I'm not trying to sound all sad and melancholy. Because honestly, it's been really refreshing to take a break from everybody elses life and just focus on my own. 
Focus on how to make my own memories with my kids.
Focus on what to do to make mine a success story.
Focus on figuring out myself, so that I can be a better friend.

I saw this graphic on some one's instagram a couple of weeks ago. ( I know, ironic.)


And I saved it to my screen saver.

And then our message in church was on accepting one another. As stated in Romans chapter 14 "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister." (v. 13)

And then I remembered this post from forever ago. 
Thinking of how much I needed it then.
And how much I still need it now.
This constant reminder that I am only trying to be a better me.
I honestly don't care if I'm better than anybody else. But for some reason I really care when people are better than me.

So I'm trying to stop paying so much attention to how everybody else is doing and start paying more attention to what is going on here. And right now, hearing those words, it sounds super selfish. But maybe that's what needs to happen in order to change things around here.

I deleted instagram from my phone over a week ago.
I'm thinking maybe Facebook is next.


Amie said...

Thank you for sharing. I am constantly comparing my life to those of others, and constantly feeling like I am never measuring up. Maybe it's time I stop and just learn to appreciate all the things about me that make me me!!

buckwheat said...

Kendra, never knew about your blog before, but, I LOVE IT!!! AND YOU! I love your honesty and realism and the way you love your family. I'm with you...in fact I don't even have instagram. Cant figure out pinterest. I do however have mom issues and always wonder if I'm doing it right. But at the end of the day, I look at my sleeping kiddos and its all good. You really are an inspiration to me, and believe it or not, wish I was more like you. I miss you.

Adrienne said...

good for you Mama. You are brave! But I totally understand.

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