I get it.
There is some kind of crazy cliche in the (fitblogging) universe about people that don't blog for a while falling off the wagon and gaining weight.
But that's totally not me.
I just haven't had much to say.
I've been super busy trying to focus on my four kids.
Going to crossfit four times a week.
Trying to figure out some paleo snacks that are grab and go.
Trying to balance working out and doing what's best for our family.
And then I got to thinking about how every single weekend we have about 5 places to be and we're never home long enough to do the dirty dishes that are piled up in the sink.
And what's going to happen when the littles get bigger and we have 10 more places to be?
I want our kids to be well rounded and active, but I don't quite know how to balance all of the activities along with the rest of our crazy schedule.
But I'm still here, trucking along.
Eating paleo.
Being distracted.
Missing box jumps. (which I would really not recommend)
My Husband is rad.
He cooks me meals (not all, but a lot).
He encourages me when I really want a diet coke or a cookie.
He makes time for me to workout.
He does the grocery shopping so that I don't have to be strong in the bakery.
He is rad.
And it's a good thing that I have him, because other people can be mean.
They try to sabotage efforts.
They say things that hurt to the core.
Other (weight loss) bloggers think they know it all.
That they have all the answers.
That because something worked for them it's the only answer.
But they're wrong.
Because, you guys.
I feel like I've tried it all, and nothing seems to be working.
I've counted calories and trained for a half marathon.
I've done boot camp.
I just started Crossfit and switched to a Paleo diet.
And nothing seems to be working.
Sure, I feel better.
But my clothes still fit.
And the scale?
It likes the same old number.
Which is TOO MUCH.
At what point do you stop calling it consistency and start calling it insanity?
Really, I'm asking.
I did it!!
I finished a half marathon!
We made a whole weekend out of it and had our first mini vacay as a family of 6.
We started out Friday by a visit to Disneyland, and the kids were super excited since they had no idea where we were taking them on our trip. About lunch time we took a little break and decided to check out the Health and Fitness Expo at the hotel to pick up our race packets.
The two big kids ran the 200 meter kids race Saturday morning and had so much fun! We're trying really hard to get them interested in staying active, especially since I had such a sedentary childhood. I don't want my kids to struggle with their weight as much as I have.
Sunday morning my alarm went off at 4am in order to get ready for the race! Husband was amazing and kept me company while I was getting ready. I took some Clif shot bloks before I left, and as I walked to the race from our hotel (1.4 miles) I ate a banana and some almonds. I lined up in my corral where the wait began.
Because I was placed in such a late corral, I don't think that we actually crossed the start line until about 6:20, even though the race started at 5:45. As I started out, I couldn't believe that I was actually doing it! I felt great, had a great pace (for me) and was enjoying all of the scenery as we started out in Downtown Disney and headed in to Disney's California Adventure. At about mile 2, I had to make a stop (see above caffeinated shot bloks), which kind of bummed me out because I really felt like I had found my groove. But I easily picked back up where I left off. We continued to run through the parks, coming out of the castle and through the rest of Disneyland. As I made my way on to the streets of Anaheim and started to hear my name called! I looked over and my good friend Amanda was on the street corner cheering me on with the cutest sign! I was shocked and so touched to see her, and it gave me a little bit of extra encouragement to keep going.
As I continued through the race, my Husband, in laws and two big kids met up with me at different spots with super cute signs to cheer me on. I couldn't believe his dedication, considering how much work it was for him, with all of the street closures and dragging two small children around with him. It seriously meant the world for me to have his support through the whole race.
At about mile 8 my iPod stopped working. I couldn't get the music to play and I gave up, so it was just me and the pavement. There were tons of people around me, but they were all running with other people and seemed pretty focused.
And then my back started BURNING. My low back felt like it was ON FIRE. It hurt so bad I felt like crying. I started to walk thinking that I could just give myself a little break and then resume, but then everything started to hurt. We walked through Angel Stadium (where I saw my very pregnant friend, Christina and her entire family cheering for me) and all I kept thinking was that it had to get better. I had seen people using Biofreeze, so I tried it on my back. It did help temporarily, but the burning came back with a vengeance.
The end of the race is actually a blur. Anything after mile 11 I can barely remember. I spent most of the time just trying to put one foot in front of the other and finish within the time limit. I remember thinking that it actually felt better to run than it did to walk, but I couldn't catch my breath while I was running. I remember feeling lightheaded and nauseous and just wishing that I could lay down for just a minute.
As I approached the finish line, my mom and aunt and my two littlest kids were standing there cheering me on, which was just the boost I needed to cross the finish line!
I ended up laying down in the air conditioned medical tent for a while with some ice on my back and a Powerade in hand, but recovered fairly quickly and hitched a ride back to the hotel to join my family.
I am so grateful for all of my friends and family that were there every step of the way to cheer me on. I got so many encouraging text messages and emails and I'm humbled that so many people took the time to think of me.
We spent the next couple of days as a family at Disneyland, just enjoying each other and spending some quality time together.
In the back of my mind, my time is haunting me. You see, I had a goal of just finishing in the time limit, which was 3:30 (yes, I know that's slow) and I missed it. By 11 minutes. My time was 3:41. Super bummed and disappointed with myself. I feel like maybe I could have pushed myself harder. Or something. And then I read an article about being happy with any accomplishment, even if it's just showing up. So I'm trying to focus on the fact that not only did I show up, but I finished.
Haunted.
I'm still haunted.
So I got home.
And signed on to the computer.
And may or may not have signed up for the Disney Princess Half Marathon in Orlando in February.
For redemption.
Time to get to work!!!
You guys.
My half marathon is in three days.
13.1 miles.
I'm Freaking Out.
I'm so stinking worried that I won't make the time limit.
That I'll let somebody down because I don't run the whole thing.
Because let's face it, I'll be walking. A lot.
And I'm kind of bummed because I don't think that I'll have time to stop and take pictures with any characters, because then for sure I wont make the time limit.
But at least we're getting a family vacation out of it.
And it will always be the Happiest Place on Earth!
Here's the happenings around here. (don't you love my grammar?)
A whole lot of baking.
Not as much running as there should be. But I'm supposed to do 5 miles this Saturday! Yikes!
I started trying out the strong lifts program. You know how after you do a lot of squats you can hardly even sit on the toilet the next day? Yeah. That.
Trying to get this girl on some kind of sleep schedule, while trying to get all three other kids to their respective rightful places each day. Because waking up all night long simply isn't fun anymore.
And still counting calories with MyFitnessPal. Wishing that chocolate chip cookies didn't count in the daily total. Because I could eat my weight in them. And over the past couple of weeks I probably have.
I headed out Saturday morning for a 4 mile run (even though my training plan only called for 3), and somehow only ended up going 3.8. Even after extending the run when I realized I was going to come up short.
Please tell me how this happens when you run the exact same route that was 4.1 miles by GPS the week prior.
Regardless of the .3 mile discrepancy, it was nice to get out of the house with just my shoes and my music (and the new fuel belt that Husband got me for Mother's day).
I'm still super slow, and I don't really know if that's going to change any time soon.
There are days that I'm okay with it, and days that I'm super frustrated.
But I keep getting out there and running, so at least I can say that.
I signed up for the Joggermom marathon again this year, so I have to get in my 26.2 miles by the end of the month, and I got off to a slow start. I have lots of ground to make up, but with my saturday long runs getting longer, I think that I should be okay.
13 miles down, 13.2 (but really 12.9) to go!!
*insert whining and complaining here*
I realize that I have been absent. Adrienne continues to remind me to update my blog.
But I just can't find the motivation to do it.
In my time of absence, I have managed to lose more weight, bringing my total to about 17 pounds. I am chipping away slow and steady.
The re-entry of sugar and flour in to my diet really affected my weight loss, and I've had a hard time getting back on track.
My baby wants to be held all the time. Always. Which I'm trying to cherish because I know she'll be my last one, but sometimes a girl just wants her space. And I know that sounds horrible and selfish, and I'm really sorry. But I'm just trying to keep it real here.
I did another 5K on Sunday, and am just feeling super frustrated with my fitness level. I'm not getting any faster, and while my legs feel great while I'm running, my heart rate gets up over 200 really quickly. I'm really starting to worry that I won't be able to do my half marathon.
