Thursday, May 5, 2011

Who am I?

I am a child of God.
I am a wife.
I am a mother.
I am a daughter. A sister. A friend.
I am a nurse.

I am also the fat girl. The fat mom.
The mom that yells at her kids. That scolds them for doing things that all kids do.
The mom that wishes she wasn't that mom. That dreams of children running through rainbows with happy laughter and sweet smiles. 
The mom that dreams of pigtails tied with ribbons, and little boys dressed in pinstripes. Adorned with perfect, obedient smiles.

I am not the mom that has perfectly behaved children, who still manages to get dinner on the table and keep the hardwood floors clear of debris.

I am just me. An overweight woman trying to make things make sense everyday. Trying to set a good example for my children. And failing. Every day, with some mistake. Some poor choice.

I wish that I could say that I am a success story. But right now, I am not. My story is still being told. With chapters being put on hold as life gets in the way.

All I know is that I love my kids with all of my heart. I want more than anything to be a good mom. To be a good wife. To be a good daughter. To be a good person. And at some point, to be that success story.

The one that you guys are all rooting for. The one that you guys encourage. The one that I know is inside of me.

Happy Mother's Day!!


Kurt @ Becoming An Ironman said...

We are all human! Doing your best is all you can ask for. And as a child who has only recently grown up (still arguable though), it's the small things that parents slip on that make us realize that you really are human despite how much we idolize you as super humans who save the world on a daily basis.

My dad is still my super hero, but I can point out countless things he's horrible at.

You just keep being you and that's all that matters!!

Julie said...

Yep your a mom....with all the guilt that comes with it! I've been feeling like a rotten mom recently too...not sure it ever goes away.

As long as we keep trying we will be the person we want to be.

Weightless said...

We all feel this way girl. Trust me. You're doing the best you can, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Everyday.

Susie said...

That is so sweet!! I think we all inspire that for ourselves!!

Colleen said...

Just be you... whatever form that comes in and whatever role that requires! :)

Hope you had a great mother's day!

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